I took a crap in Iraq. In fact, I Gave Iraq 15 months of toilet training. Funny, never follow an Iraqi into a Port-a-Let, after he does his business. Westerners use toilet paper and sit during this procedure. desert Dwellers use the left hand and a Gallon jug of water while standing and aiming into a hole...sounds like a circus act. (come in Tokyo, come in Tokyo).
In 2003, When my Battalion first entered Baghdad, we found some Iraqi barracks facilities partially bombed out. Like all curious soldiers we went exploring for disgarded equipment. Upon entering the Bathrooms, we found the Toilets to be unused and in pristine condition and the stalls immaculate and clean. Upon closer inspection of the Shower Room, we found the Drain caps removed and human feces jammed down the drains. (Obviously, these people knew what a hole was for but not a toilet). The showers were useless to Iraqi's for anything but crapping in. This is just the tip of the Iceburg of cultural differences...... We had alot of broken Port-a-Pottie seats in our base camp because of the Local nationals "Standing on toilet seats" to defecate. First Sergeant M_ (1SG) of our Forward Logistical Element, wouldn't accept that Iraqi's were breaking the toilet seats. He woud have emergency meetings, even Company formations, where he would go on and on about we soldiers "screwing our buddies over" wanting the culprits to come forward. He told all the NCO's to find out who the soldiers were that were standing on the toilet seats and bring them to him ASAP. We NCO's tried in vain to convience 1SG M_ that it wasn't the soldiers doing but the Iraqi truck drivers. But the 1SG was a stubborn cuss, and wanted to find someone he could personally punish and make an example of. He informed us that he was going to take measures to prevent soldiers from using the Port-a-potties "unobserved". His plan was to place a guard on the Port-a-potties, and said guard would be responsible for inspecting the seats after each visiter was finished, and apprehend violaters. 1SG M_ was bound and determined to catch an American toilet seat standing soldier. Finally, after weeks of Formations, mass punishments, Fidel Castro length speeches, Threats and promises, and ridiculous Port-a-Pottie Guard duty (which served nothing more then to piss off the soldiers, and make 1SG M_ out to be the unapproachable tyrant that he was) 1LT Fergsuon, SSG Wagoner and I managed to convince 1SG M_ that it was indeed the Iraqi's and not our soldiers who were responsible.
Here is another funny thing: After convincing the First Sergeant that the Local National Truck drivers were to blame, The First sergeant bought off on SSG Wagnor and my idea to introduce and or re-educate the Iraqi's into our "toilet Culture". For the first part of this plan, I drew pictures/cartoons of men with their man dress hiked up showing hairy bare footed legs, standing on a Toilet seat . I also drew a red circle around the picture, and a Red diagonal line through the drawing (this is the international symbol for "DON'T DO THIS) then I made dozens of copies on my personal printer and posted them on the Port-a-Pottie doors. We even had our interpreters and SSG Wagoner explain and demonstrate the "western pooping procedure". Needless to say, the Potty Training didn't work. Old habits, traditions and ingrained learning are hard to break. Besides; toilet paper and sitting down seemed as usefull to them as eating a T-bone steak is to an astronaut on a space walk.
Here's another disgusting experience: An Iraqi Army trainee entered the new bathroom facility (built by our Government for use by the "New Improved" Iraqi Army). The trainee actually used the toilet, and did his #2 business. Upon completion of his mission, he exited the stall and approached the sink. The Trainee filled it with water, and proceeded to wash his hand (which he had wiped his rear with) then lifted one leg at a time ( like a contortionist) and washed his feet in that water. When he felt his feet were sufficiently cleaned, he washed his face in that water. Satisfied that his face was "now clean" the trainee brushed his teeth. He washed his hair, slicking it back with the same water, then ran a comb through it. (did I mention SOAP being used at any time in this story?) Life doesn't get any better than in a Desert culture. You got to love it!
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